How to Support Your Extremely Unmotivated College Freshman
This semester has been an utter disappointment to your freshman. Having your freshman home again is bittersweet for you as well. While you and your freshman wish this school year had ended differently, how can you help?
If your freshman hasn’t already expressed some frustration or doubts about finishing the semester, prepare yourself. Dropping out for the semester is incredibly appealing, because quitting would be much easier. Should you consider this as a real option for your extremely unmotivated freshman?
Letting your freshman drop out this semester might be easier than dealing with his crazy sleep schedule, odd meal times, and consistent complaining, but it is probably not the best option for you or him.
You have your hands full with your own work, and you’d rather not feel like you’re homeschooling your college freshman too. How can you help?
Acknowledge this situation stinks.
While you may be tempted to redirect your freshman’s complaints, he needs to know that life right now isn’t rosy. The reality is you, government officials, health officials, and other authority figures have no idea if life will be okay. Your freshman is smart enough to know this too.
Allow your freshman to talk, express, process, etc. It’s ok not to be okay. The time will come when he is ready to move on, but that time may be closer to the end of his online classes.
Admit a lack of control.
Not having the answers is an uncomfortable place to be as a parent, but your freshman needs to know you are taking this one week or even one day at a time too. You don’t always feel motivated to keep life going either.
Even if you plan for every eventuality, you did not plan to be stuck indoors for weeks (or months). Your freshman needs to know that not knowing the how, why, or what is part of adulthood.
Create an environment that encourages success.
As mentioned in a previous post, your freshman had boundaries, space, and routine in his college life. Coming home has thrown a wrench into his operations.
Sleeping at weird times or hardly sleeping may have worked at college, but now that he is at home he doesn’t have the peer pressure to motivate him to get things done on little sleep. Eating meals was a hit or miss activity at college, but now at home he finds himself constantly snacking or entirely forgetting to eat.
As a parent, you have to discover the almost impossible balance of providing tools for success without overstepping your bounds. Your freshman needs to take ownership of his choices and responsibility for his grades.
Do your best to create a home environment that makes it easy for him to succeed, provide encouragement when needed, offer consistent accountability, and be a constant source of support.
Honesty, transparency, and accountability—these three tools can help your unmotivated freshman. You don’t have to pretend things are better than they are, but you can help him make the most of his college classes.
