How to Help Your Freshman Start College Classes Again
Your freshman’s classes have likely resumed (or will soon resume). Because the end of this semester may feel more like the start of a new semester, your freshman may still be adjusting to this different norm.
As a busy college parent, you may be struggling to know how your freshman is really doing and what you can really do to help. As your freshman begins the semester again, you can help her adjust mentally, physically, and emotionally.
Mental adjustments
This end of the semester is completely different than your freshman has or ever or will ever experience. Taking classes online, being away from friends, and living home again will take some time to adjust to mentally.
Here are a few ways in which you can help her mentally adjust:
Encourage realistic expectations. Expecting to have laser-like focus, maintain high grades, and stay completely self-motivated isn’t probably realistic. Your child will likely adjust after a few weeks of classes moving online, but initially she may struggle more than she anticipated with this new norm.
Encourage gratitude. Gratitude is a choice. Even when circumstances are uncomfortable and uncertain, practicing gratitude can go a long way when it comes adjusting to the end of this semester. Set an example of gratitude which your freshman cannot help but imitate.
Encourage positivity. Living life apart from friends, work, and other social communities is difficult. Do your best to maintain a positive outlook and encourage a positive outlook in your freshman. Consider talking less about the economy, the political climate, and other stressful topics and talking more about examples of generosity and heroism.
Physical adjustments
The rest of this semester will also be a physical adjustment. Your freshman is in a new environment, where she has less control. This will take her time to adjust to physically.
Here are a few ways in which you can help her physically adjust:
Encourage healthy habits. Ultimately your freshman needs to make healthy choices for herself, but you may be able to help. Do your best to set an example of prioritizing sleep, eating healthy, and staying active (even while quarantined). If and when you eat together as a family, try to make healthy eating possible.
Encourage healthy boundaries. While “self-care” can become a cliche idea, giving each other space to take care of oneself is essential during this time of quarantine. Allow your freshman time to herself some evenings, rather than consistently requiring family time night after night. Allow yourself time to prioritize yourself, so that your freshman can see this is not only needed but practiced by you.
Emotionally adjust
This part of the semester requires emotional adjustment as well. Your freshman wasn’t expecting to have to say her final goodbyes quite this early. Your freshman wasn’t prepared to be living home again quite so quickly. Your freshman will need time to adjust emotionally.
Here are a few ways in which you can help her emotionally adjust:
Encourage open communication. Your freshman may or may not be quick to communicate with you. She may be hesitant or private. Whatever the case, give her space and time to talk with you. All of this change has been exhausting for her, and she is likely still processing the change. Make yourself available to talk and do your best to listen without inserting advice to ensure she feels truly heard.
Encourage connection with college friends. While being physically together with her friends isn’t currently possible, your freshman needs to maintain her college relationships. Notice the use of the word “needs.” Your freshman needs to keep her sense of community. Do your best to give her space and time to pursue these friendships.
Encourage time as a family. While you cannot constantly have family activity, try to set aside a few times each week that you spend time together as a family. You could eat meals together, have a family game night, have a family movie night, and more. These times are special together and possible due to being together day-in and day-out.
You cannot take your freshman’s classes for her, but you can help your freshman adjust to resuming classes online. By helping her navigate the mental, physical, and emotional adjustments, you can truly provide the assistance your freshman needs right now.
