Is Feeling Sad About Graduating From High School Normal?
High school probably seems like it will the best time in your life.
You were counting down the days until graduation. You couldn’t wait to be free from the oddities of high school.
Facing graduation, you felt bittersweet feelings about graduating. After graduation, you simply feel sad.
The Office character Andy Bernard probably best sums up your feelings about high school being over, “I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.”
Though high school wasn’t the best time of my life, I did look back sometimes and think that those were the good old days.
That summer between high school and college was difficult. I remember feeling out of place and slightly agitated most days.
It wasn’t easy being stuck between two stages. (I also wasn’t the most pleasant person to be around…just ask my family.)
Why do you feel this way and what is it you actually feel? Below I answer these 3 questions:
Why do I feel nostalgic about high school?
Is there such a thing as post-graduation depression?
How do I know if I’m experiencing post-graduation depression?
Why do I feel nostalgic about high school?
Graduating from high school is filled with mixed emotions, but one emotion you maybe didn’t anticipate feeling is nostalgia—a sentimental longing for the past.
Maybe you find a picture you on your phone or a song that pops up on a Spotify playlist. Instantly, you’re filled with memories of that time and place. You didn’t think this would be how you feel after graduating.
So why do you feel sentimental about high school?
High school was a significant time in your life. High school was filled with defining moments. Moments where you discovered your passions, your talents, your interests, and more. It would be weird not to feel a little sentimental about a time in your life where you grew so much.
High school friendships are often long friendships. You’ve known these friends for a long time, and they’ve known you for a long time. You likely spent countless hours talking, laughing, and just enjoying each other’s company. You sadly know after graduating that most of these friendships will fade away.
High school seemed like a simpler time in life. It seemed like things were easier in high school—going to school, walking to classes, following a schedule set by everyone else, etc. Now you have to make decisions for yourself. There aren’t as many guidelines or guard rails, so it feels easier to mess up or get (and stay) lost.
But you might feel more than nostalgia after finishing high school. Your feelings look more like significant sadness or even depression.
Is there such a thing as post-graduation depression?
**I am not qualified to provide you with a technical diagnosis of depression. My goal is to confirm that these feelings are real and experienced by others and to help point you to helpful resources (see end of post for links).
Psychologist Juli Fraga points to a student’s positive school experience as building a kind of bubble. “Graduating,” she adds, “symbolizes a leap…a huge transition.”
Leaving high school means leaving a relationships you’ve built, a set of rules you understand, and a network of mentors you’ve relied on. It also means a leap into a new stage of life filled with unknowns.
Though post-graduation depression has no an official diagnosis, it is a phenomenon many high school (and college) grads seem to experience.
In an article for the Chicago Tribune, Rochaun Meadows-Fernandez described it as “extreme sadness and impaired functioning that recent grads report after they leave behind the world they created.”
How do I know if I’m experiencing post-graduation depression?
The term “depression” can mean different things to different people.
Because sometimes the phrases like “I’m depressed” and others like it can be used casually in conversation, having a serious conversation with someone about these strong feelings of loss and hopelessness can be scary.
Below are some signs that you may need to have a conversation with someone (a parent, a mentor, or a mental health professional) about these strong and lasting feelings:
You’re spending a lot more time on social media than you used to.
Being extremely active on social media can be linked with depression. In a study by the University of Pittsburgh Schools of the Health Sciences, those with high rates depression also claimed high rates of social media use.
Simply spending time on social media isn’t the problem, but sometimes spending hours upon hours there, feeling pressure to post happy-go-lucky kinds of content, or constantly comparing oneself to others on social media may signal a mental health issue.
If you’re finding yourself easily feeling jealous, envious, or left out by others’ content, consider unfollowing or muting accounts, limiting your social media use, or even going on a social media fast.
While these may not rid you of depressed feelings, they may help you identify if your social media activity helps contributes to these negative feelings.
You’re filled with self-doubt.
Experiencing self-doubt or student imposter syndrome is common during your first semester of college. These feelings of inadequacy, though normal, shouldn’t be ignored.
If you find yourself lacking confidence about your ability or intelligence on a regular basis, this may signal a mental health issue that needs to be addressed.
If you’re finding yourself feeling embarrassed or even ashamed you didn’t get into your dream school…
Or if you’re feeling inadequate when compared to other students headed to your college, be careful not to assume your parent(s), family, or mentors feel ashamed of you too.
Consider having an open-dialogue with them about your feelings of inadequacy. You may find they feel quite the opposite about you.
Your perspective is abnormally negative.
Life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, but it also isn’t all gloom and doom.
If you find yourself consistently feeling negative about everything around you, may signal a mental health issue.
Take a step back and ask yourself why.
Consider what influences you are surrounding yourself with—friends, books, video content, etc. The people and things you surround yourself with can have a tremendous impact on you.
Experiment some if you feel something or someone is influencing you to feel abnormally negative.
Stop watching that show if you feel it might be contributing.
Limit your communication and social time with a friend that you feel might be contributing to these negative feelings.
You might be surprised about how much these influences impact your mood on a daily basis.
You easily feel overwhelmed.
Everything seems to cause you to react strongly.
If a friend cancels plans or if your boss asks you to stay an extra hour at the end of your shift and you consistently “fly off the handle,” this may signal a mental health issue.
Consider taking a break from the normal.
Clear your head with some physical exercise or a short day-trip out of town.
You may feel that this break away leaves you more refreshed and less tense when small inconveniences cross your path.
You regularly feel isolated.
Experiencing loneliness isn’t uncommon during transitional times of life. Many recent high school grads feel this way.
Psychologist Sheryl Ziegler points in particular to social media as being a contributor to recent grads feeling isolated:
"They are following their friends on social media and have this out-of-proportion sense that everyone else has figured it out…They have a sense that everyone has it together but them, which causes them to further isolate themselves."
Feeling sad about leaving high school is a normal sensation. This time of life has been significant and meaningful.
In this time, remember to allow yourself to process these feelings of loss. Be patient as these feelings may take more time to pass than you’d like.
The years ahead of you will be filled with other formative experiences, but feeling sad about leaving behind some cherished experiences, friends, and memories is okay too.
**If you do not feel comfortable seeking help for depression with a parent or mentor, here are some additional resources available to you:
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration's (SAMHSA) National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) - SAMHSA’s National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255) - The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24/7.
Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA): 1-240-485-1001 - Anxiety and Depression Association of America provides information on prevention, treatment and symptoms of anxiety, depression and related conditions.
