How to Support Your Freshman During Midterms Week
Midterms week is quickly arriving, and your freshman might be terrified. This may be her first time experiencing college midterms, and she is completely stressed out. She has no idea how she will have time to study for each midterm. What can you do to help?
While you can’t study for her or take her midterms for her, you can do a few things to remind her of your love and support from afar. Consider doing one or more of these three things during midterms week!
Send a care package.
Care packages are a simple way to show that you care for your freshman. If your freshman is particularly homesick or feeling lonely, she will definitely appreciate this little display of your affection. If your freshman is stressed or weary, she will also definitely appreciate you taking the time to show you care.
The week of midterms can be a drudgery while also being strenuous. Your freshman may stay up late or wake up early just so she can get in all of her studying. Receiving a little reminder that she is in your thoughts helps this week to feel less agonizing.
So what items may help lift her spirits? Gift cards are always appreciated, especially gift cards that she can use to grab a caffeine boost, a quick breakfast, or a filling lunch. Reminders of home, like homemade food or photos, are appreciated by your freshman who feels so far from home and you.
Although a care package can become expensive quickly, it doesn’t have to be a major expense to you. The main idea is to remind her of your love and care through sending her a small package. For more ideas about care packages, take a look at my post “Putting the Care in Care Package.”
Write an encouraging note.
In the days of social media and texting, you may think a handwritten note doesn’t mean that much to your freshman. Wrong. Your freshman truly needs to hear encouraging words from you, and sometimes those words mean much more in writing than they do when spoken.
Reminding your freshman of your love can be the boost she needs to stay focused and motivated on bringing up her grades. She likely feels fairly beat up, defeated, or close to quitting. Remind her your her cheerleader and you believe in her, even if she doesn’t believe in herself.
I strongly encourage you to write the note and mail it to her school address, but I know that this kind gesture isn’t always possible. Consider sending a text or message instead. The key is to encourage her no matter what the format. She needs to hear you’re thinking of her and deeply care for her.
Recognize your freshman’s hard work.
If you’re not careful, your complimentary words can easily be more harmful than helpful. Harmful compliments focus on external factors that your freshman has or has had little control over. These compliments include comments like these: “you’re the best,” “you’re pretty,” or “you always get good grades.” Why are these compliments so harmful? While you may mean well, your freshman may feel that she doesn’t need to try new things, work to improve, or care about the process.
Worse still these kinds of compliments seem disingenuous to your freshman. She likely brushes them off and thinks “she’s only saying that because she’s my mom” or “he’s only saying that because he’s my dad.” Your freshman sees through these surface-level compliments and doubts their truth: “am I really that smart?”
When complimenting your freshman, place your focus on the process, not the result. Focusing on the process will place the emphasis where it needs to be: on her character. Your freshman will not likely value her character if you place little value on it. Complimenting her hard work, her integrity, etc. will make your compliments seem more genuine.
When complimenting your freshman, be specific. Vague comments will also make you sound disingenuous. Providing detail to your compliment shows that you’ve thought through your answer and your not “just saying” something. You really mean it.
College midterms is a new experience for your freshman. You can help her get the boost of energy she needs to keep going. Support her by sending her reminders of your love, sharing encouraging words, and cheering on her efforts!
