How Parents Can Help College Freshmen Manage Time Well
What is your freshman’s #1 struggle this semester? While your freshman may struggle with homesickness, loneliness, and fatigue, these are likely only small parts of your child’s struggle. If your freshman is honest, managing their time is their key struggle.
In a study for the Journal of Educational Psychology, Britton and Tesser point to two time management practices as significant predictors of a college student’s cumulative GPA over four years (1991):
The feeling of having control over their time
The ability to plan how to use their time in the short term
Parent, if you desire your freshman to grow in their ability to manage time and (in turn) earn better grades, refuse to do certain tasks. What you choose not to do can encourage your child’s ability to manage time.
Refuse to do the following things if your freshman needs to grow in their time management skills:
Refuse to offer reminders.
If your freshman struggles to wake up on time, complete assignments on time, or meet some other type of deadline, offering them reminders will only make matters worse. Why? They will never develop the skills Britton and Tesser pointed to as contributors to good grades (1991).
Your reminders, which are likely motivated out of a desire to help, can actually harm your freshman’s ability to learn how to say no to extracurricular and/or social activities. Your reminders can also prevent your freshman from establishing healthy daily habits like making task lists.
Refuse to give “guilt trips.”
Your child’s generation faces different challenges than previous generations experienced while in college. In a study for Communication Research, Panek describes this generation of college students as having “an unprecedented number of options as to what to do with their leisure time” (2014).
You know that your child’s phone, social media use, and video consumption is taking valuable time away from schoolwork. (Your freshman probably knows this too.) Because the more time your child spends on media, the less time they likely have for studying.
While you may be tempted to say “I told you so” or offer pressure that appears as guilt trips to your freshman, these tactics are unlikely to help change behavior. Panek describes how guilt associated with media use can be accompanied by a feeling of losing control (2014). Add to this reminders from a parent, and soon your freshman feel like they have no control over their schedule. This does little to help them change their behavior.
If you want to help your freshman dig their way out of a bad habit, your best option is likely to listen, ask questions, and offer support when possible.
Refuse to step in.
Stepping in can sometimes be necessary. However, relatively few situations require a parent to step in and fix a problem. Most situations your freshman faces do not require a parent to step in. In fact, most situations present opportunities for your freshman to step up.
Parent, if you desire your freshman to learn how to speak and act on their own behalf, please let them develop time management skills while in college. Stepping in can actually hinder your freshman now and in the future. Learning to deal with strict or even unfairly demanding deadlines is a skill your child needs to be a successful adult.
Developing time management skills is an important stepping stone for your freshman. Instead of adding pressure or making comments, consider letting go more. Sometimes good parenting looks like taking a step back so your freshman can learn to step up.
