5 Things That Scream "I'm a Freshman"
College is a new stage of life, and you don’t have everything figured out yet. But everybody else may seem to have it figured out (believe me, they don’t). Whether you realize it or not, you will be at the bottom of the social strata during your first year of college. You are no longer the person looked up to or respected, because you are be a freshman—again.
College freshmen are usually adjusting to college life for at least the first month or so. For a while most freshmen do not feel like they belong at college, because they still feel like a visitor. Because they feel like a visitor more than a student, they demonstrate certain behaviors that frustrate students and professors. So how can you avoid being that freshman? Avoid these 5 habits that scream, “I’m a freshman!”
When a student thinks he or she is the exception . . .
You will have to adjust to new social rules or expectations. Some of these rules are very different from high school. One of these new rules is taking responsibility or ownership of your choices, mistakes, and failures.
High school teachers were usually more likely to let you make up a missed assignment or work around circumstances out of your control. As a result, you might be used to negotiating. But in college, negotiating will typically not be an option. Your college professors know you are busy and that you sometimes make mistakes, but they cannot make exceptions for you.
You have to turn in your assignment in on time even if you forgot, you slept through your alarm, or you had to work late last night. Just like every other student in your class, you have to manage your schedule so that you can get your work done or arrive to class on time.
If you attempt to negotiate or argue with your professor, you will damage your reputation with that teacher. Your well-intentioned protests will probably only make you look like you’re making excuses for your behavior. Your teacher won’t likely go out of his or her way to help you if you are a student who appears to put in little effort and rarely complete work by the due date.
Remember, you are not the exception, even if you have a good excuse. Don’t expect people to accommodate when you mess up. Instead, choose to take responsibility for your mistakes and move on.
When a student arrives late . . .
Another new rule you need to learn is that people take their time seriously in college. Being late to meet-ups, study sessions, classes, or work shifts will not make you well liked. Arriving late to scheduled times majorly makes you look like a freshman.
High school friends were usually more flexible with their schedules. If you showed up 20 minutes late, they were less likely to be frustrated. In college, other students (especially upperclassmen) do have a strict timetable. If you say you’re going to show up at 5 p.m., arriving much later does not go over well.
Why is this so? Your lateness communicates something. It communicates that you consider your time more important than the person’s who you are meeting. Having an “I’ll get there when I get there” attitude doesn’t help you be likable or look considerate.
Your lateness also communicates you are not trustworthy. If you say you’ll meet a friend at noon for lunch but arrive around 12:30 p.m., your friend will probably doubt you in the future. You have good intentions. You plan to be there on time, but if you are consistently late over and over again your friend isn’t likely to trust your judgement or your word.
When you are late, you drive teachers, classmates, and friends crazy. Stick to your word. Arrive on time. If you’re running late, send the person a message telling them you are running late and are on your way. Being considerate of others’ time is the best way to avoid being that freshman.
When a student ignores others . . .
Ghosting people in real life and while at college is not alright. In fact, it makes you look like a jerk. In college, choosing not to greet people on the sidewalk or in the hallway comes across as juvenile, not cool.
If you are so unaware of your surroundings that you don’t greet people, they may think you’re kind of an airhead. If you think too highly of yourself to greet people, others may think you’re a snob. Neither of these qualities will make you likable.
If you sit next to a peer in a class, don’t forget his or her name and ignore this person later outside of class. If you pass a teacher, don’t act like you don’t know who he or she is. Choose to remember these people’s names or (if you do forget) ask them to repeat their names again.
In all honesty, I tend to struggle with names. So here’s a method that helps me remember names when first meeting a person . . .
Ask the person’s name and listen.
Repeat that person’s name in a question.
Create a connection with that person’s name.
Repeat the name again at the end of the conversation.
This first conversation could look something like this:
You: I don’t think I’ve met you yet, my name is __________. What is your name?
Person: My name is __________. Nice to meet you!
You: {Insert person’s name}, is this your last class today?
Person: No, I still have __________, but then I’ll be done.
You: Yeah, me too. But I have two more classes.
—some more small talk and then later at the end of class—
You: It was nice meeting you, {insert person’s name}. Hope your last class goes well!
Choose to notice and greet others around you. Ignoring others may have been normal in high school, but being nice to people is important in adulthood. If you’re passing someone you talked to in your English class, don’t act like you don’t know them later on the sidewalk. Treat others like you would want to be treated.
When a student panics over little details . . .
Details are important, especially in college, but they’re not worth ruining your day over. In high school, you probably had less details to worry about. In college, more details are part of the everyday schedule.
Letting little mistakes bother you or keep you from getting things done is a typical downfall for new college students. If you are a perfectionist (like me) or someone who typically succeeds, you probably have a particularly hard time moving on from mistakes. So how can you let go of the little mistakes and move on?
In my post “How to Stop Fixating and Start Dealing With Small Problems,” I share the importance of learning how to think about your problems. If you’re anything like me, you might replay the situation over and over again in your head. This thinking doesn’t help you move on but instead keeps you fixated on the mistake.
Choose to evaluate the problem with three questions: What factors contributed to the problem? How can I prevent this problem from happening again? And what can I do when I don’t have control over the situation? These questions help you move on from the problem to the solution.
Additionally, allowing yourself to process the problem emotionally is helpful. You may be more of an extrovert. If so, you probably need to allow yourself to talk about the problem, even if it’s just to yourself or a parent on the phone. If you are more of an introvert, you might do better to write about your problem. This allows you to move through and past your problem.
Don’t let the little things mess up your whole day, because they’re probably not worth the stress. Choose to move on from your mistake to the solution and then back to life. Your success doesn’t depend on how many obstacles you face but on how you keep going despite obstacles in your path.
When a student hates on high school students . . .
Although high school may seem like forever ago now, you are only a few months removed from your high school years. Older college students realistically still view you as being more of a high school student. Not that long ago, you were walking the halls of your high school, and that’s how others will see you until you prove yourself as not being a high school student.
When I taught freshmen students, I distinctly remember metaphorically rolling my eyes at the complaints of college freshmen about high school visitors. From my perspective, the complaints of these students were ridiculous, because they sometimes still acted like high school students.
Lest I sound hypocritical, I remember thinking negatively about high school students when I was a college freshman too. On one occasion, my dorm was responsible for housing many high school students. I came back to my dorm room, complaining quietly to myself. I just wanted to take a short nap after a long day of classes, and the noise of high school visitors filled the hallways. Embarrassingly enough, after complaining aloud to myself I realized one of my roommates was currently trying to sleep in the room. Oh the irony.
Remember to treat high school students kindly. If you have a visitor come stay in your room, don’t complain about it. Be nice to visiting students, remembering you were in their shoes only a few months ago.
Even if you haven’t started college yet, keep a mental note of these 5 habits that make you really look like a college freshman. Choose to take responsibility for your mistakes, arrive on time, greet others, move on from small mistakes, and be kind to high school visitors. You may be a freshman, but you don’t have to look act like one too.
